Taming Childhood aggression: What can we do about it?
August 10, 2021
Meltdowns can cause misery for the child and everyone around this child. The good news is that adults can take charge and get support to manage aggressive behaviour in ways that are effective without being shaming.
Taming the anger monster in our children is a process, often like a marathon and definitely not a sprint to the line. Whether children hit or bite because they are angry or for reasons you just don't understand, aggressive behaviour can be a normal part of child development, especially between the ages of three and nine.
Sometimes toddlers are aggressive because they lack the verbal skills to get their needs across. A child who cannot say, "Don't do that," when their sibling takes a toy out of their hands may hit or bite to express their disapproval.
If children have a tendency towards this kind of aggressive behaviour, it’s up to you to help them develop judgement, self-discipline and the ability to express their feeling in appropriate ways. The good news is that as aggressiveness can be learnt so can calmness. We can follow and reinforce some very basic strategies to help educators and parents develop the ability within our children to stay and become calm from a very young age.
- Lead by example
. Children need someone to look up to and learn from. Parents primary role is to lead by example, modelling the kind of behaviour that you would like your child to adopt. A value system is important.
- Let your child continue being a child
. A toddler is all about testing boundaries. This is the way they explore and come into their own. However, when your children are throwing tantrums or exhibiting other destructive behaviour, it is easy to forget that you are dealing with a child and that they don’t have the wisdom to model good behaviour. Therefore, allow yourself a moment and your child to be a child. However, explain to them why their reactions are not appropriate and inform them of the alternative.
- Teaching your children to acknowledge early warning signs of aggressiveness
. Developing an awareness of early warning signs in a child is vital to success in this process of taming anger. Explain that we all have these little signs that tell us we are fast becoming angry, like maybe talking louder, getting flushed or clenching the fists. There are different signs for different people. Making your child aware will teach them to recognize and act accordingly.
- Teach your children to rethink their emotion
. Parents can start by helping children understand how their emotions work. Help children to label their feelings from an early stage in life and how to manage the big waves that flood them from time to time, both in anger and in joy.
- Age-appropriate techniques to tame anger
. Kids need to know appropriate ways to deal with their anger. Instead of being told, “Don’t hit your brother,” explain what they can do when they feel frustrated. Say, "Next time, use your words" or "Walk away from him when you feel angry."
- Praise nonaggressive behaviours
. Reduce your child's aggression by setting expectations for appropriate behaviour, providing clear and consistent consequences, and praising nonaggressive behaviours.
- Have consequences for misbehaviour
. As much as possible, parents are encouraged to stay consistent in discipline. If your child is aggressive toward another child, provide immediate consequences. Eventually the child will associate the negative consequence with the aggression. Parents can minimize aggressive behaviour with a few techniques that include:
* By staying calm,
* Minimizing situations that can flair up in misbehaviour,
* Avoiding negotiation (don't argue or explain too much),
* Helping your child problem solve solutions in conflict situations,
* Expressing and having open communication, telling them why it is not suitable to use bad language but rather positive language,
* Making your expectations for behaviour clear.
Parenting childhood aggression is protecting them from any physical trauma, and considering their mental and psychological well-being. If your child has frequent outbursts daily for several days or weeks, or is causing physical injury to himself or others, or is being sent home by friends or the school, contact your paediatrician immediately.
O ther than that, parenting childhood aggression is part of the developmental process and most children are able to learn how to manage their anger and frustration. It may require a little patience from you, but in the end, it will be all worth it!
By Andrison Muzinda: Head of Standard 7 GIS Parent: 1. Will AI replace teachers? 2. Should my child be using AI at school? These are questions I hear often from parents, and they are understandable. Artificial Intelligence is becoming part of everyday life, from the phones we use to the way we work. Naturally, parents want to know what it means for their children's education. As an educator, I have learnt that the real question is not whether children will use AI, but how schools can guide them to use it responsibly, ethically and effectively. The answer lies in a partnership that is technology working hand in hand with excellent teaching. AI is a tool, not a Replacement The best schools, like Gaborone International School, have always adapted to change while keeping children's needs at the centre. AI is not different. In my experience, the most meaningful learning still happens through strong relationships when a teacher notices a child's growth in confidence, a class discussion that sparks curiosity or a moment when a learner finally understands a difficult concept. AI cannot replace these human experiences. What it can do is help teachers personalise learning and give students more opportunities to grow. Personalised Learning One of the greatest strengths of AI is its ability to adapt learning to each child. In Gaborone International School, platforms such as AdvLearn provide learners with targeted practice and immediate feedback, helping them master concepts at their own pace. On the other hand, assessment tools like MAP (Measures of Academic Progress) allow teachers to identify strengths and areas for improvement, enabling instruction that is tailored to individual needs rather than a one-size-fits-all approach. For younger learners, AI supported Guided Readers can recommend books at the right reading level and monitor progress, helping children build confidence and develop a love of reading. As teachers, we still interpret the data, encourage learners and make professional decisions. AI simply gives us better information to support every child. Creativity and Innovation Responsible use of AI also means preparing children for the future. This is why our school introduced robotics programmes, where learners design, build and programme solutions to real-world problems while developing creativity, teamwork and problem-solving skills. We also use Virtual Reality headsets to transform learning experiences. For instance, learners explore the solar system as if they are travelling through space. These immersive experiences make learning memorable and meaningful. The goal is not to impress students with technology but to deepen understanding and inspire curiosity. Ethics Matters Of course, with great opportunities come important responsibilities. Children need guidance on when and how to use AI. They must learn to think critically, verify information and understand that AI-generated content is not always accurate. At Gaborone International School, this means teaching digital citizenship alongside digital skills. Students should know that AI can help them brainstorm ideas or practise concepts, but it should never replace their own thinking, creativity or integrity. As educators, we have a duty to model responsible use and to create clear guidelines that protect learners while encouraging innovation. What Parents Can Do Parents do not need to be AI experts; instead, they should ask their children questions like: How are you using AI at school? What are you learning from using AI? Is AI helping you to think differently? These conversations teach children that technology is most powerful when paired with curiosity, good judgment, and strong values. Takeaway AI is changing education, and that change brings exciting possibilities. When used thoughtfully, tools such as AdvLearn, MAP, Guided Readers, robotics and VR can enrich learning and help children thrive. However, the heart of education remains unchanged: caring teachers, supportive families and young people who are encouraged to think, question and dream. The schools that will lead the future are not those that simply adopt the latest technology but the ones that use it responsibly, keeping children at the centre of every decision, and that is exactly the kind of future every parent wants for their child.
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