The Importance of Teaching Self-Discipline

Understanding child development takes the emphasis away from the child's character looking at the child as good or bad. The emphasis is put on behaviour as a communication. Making self-discipline so far as a problem-solver.

Self-discipline involves resisting temptation and being determined. With all learners having dreams, to make those dreams come to reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline and effort. The three forms of self-discipline are active discipline, reactive discipline and proactive discipline.

It is easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Self-disciplined children, stay focused and motivated irrespective of one’s feelings, emotions or physical weaknesses.

A self-disciplined child does not need anyone to tell them what to do. According to Sherrie Campbell, self-disciplined children are empathetic, responsible, self-motivated, self-confident, respectful, accountable and resilient.

TRAITS OF SELF-DISCIPLINED CHILDREN

In Lauren Greenlee’s words, “A self-disciplined child says ‘no’ to desirable objects in the immediate but also chooses to say, ‘yes’ to what is right regardless of how she or he feels.”

We live in a culture that breeds egoism, the habit of valuing everything only regarding personal interest, beyond all else. Self-disciplined children, in contrast, seek to see beyond themselves and can put themselves in someone else’s shoes.

Self-disciplined children see their role as a valuable one and strive to put forth their best effort, knowing their actions affect others as well as themselves.

They respect the authority figures in their life, viewing their role as helpful and valuable. Instead of undermining someone in Leadership when they disagree, a self-disciplined child has the confidence to assert themselves and does so through a respectful appeal.

EXAMPLES OF SELF-DISCIPLINE

· Greetings

· Brushing teeth

· Tidying up

· Doing homework

· Bathing

· Making the bed

Children learn self-discipline from routines, family chores and family schedules. They also learn self-discipline when they know the consequence awaiting them if they don’t follow through with their routines, especially at home.

As said by Dr James Dobson that loving self-discipline encourages a child to respect other people and live as a responsible, constructive citizen. Hence, we should develop self-discipline by starting with small goals and increasing the level of challenge slowly with time.

CHILDREN WHO ARE WELL-BEHAVED

We live in a culture where the highest compliment a parent can receive is that his or her kid is “well-behaved”. These are children who conduct themselves in proper ways according to the rules set; they listen to and do what they are told to do.

They are always willing to take a back seat for somebody else to take the one in front or give opportunities to a more needy person.

They are mindful, sincere, and polite and strive to work to the best of their ability.

HOW ARE THEY DIFFERENT FROM OTHERS?

Being aware of how we inaccurately interchange “well-behaved” with behaviours such as “shy” is something worth considering.

“The definitions of “nice” or “polite” are completely subjective. The concept of emotional control has devolved from the skill of regulating strong emotions so as not to act out in an aggressive manner. Emotional control has become a desired ability to respond with emotion publicly in a way that is deemed appropriate by Western elites (Waltz, 2020).”

To this, I reflect on a Parenting Support Worker’s statement that “Don’t mistake ‘shy’ for well-behaved.” These words were the ones I didn’t know that I needed to hear because the two are not the same and truly, people exchange “shy” for “well-behaved.

Well-behaved children unlike self-disciplined children need somebody to remind them what to do or how to behave.

IMPORTANCE OF SELF DISCIPLINE

Self-discipline is important because it helps maintain focus, acquits children with inner self and further better self-control.

According to Topper, self-control is the stepping stone to a disciplined life.

It allows children to control their emotions and become more practical in life.

Self-control helps in pushing oneself to attain their goals and success.

Furthermore, self-discipline is advantageous because it helps:

· the students to overcome bad habits.

· believe in themselves and their ability to succeed.

· to stick to their commitments more easily.

· to see projects through to completion.

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BACK TO SCHOOL ANXIETY

By Gaborone International School • January 6, 2025

Going back to school can evoke feelings of joy for some but not others. One child may be filled with feelings of excitement as they anticipate having to see their friends once again at school, whilst another child may be overwhelmed with feelings of anxiety at the thought of starting school. Although it can be quite normal to experience some degree of uneasiness at the idea of returning to school, changing school or commencing kindergarten some children find it hard to overcome these feelings of anxiety. One may wonder why children sometimes experience back to school anxiety. Let us explore a few possible factors: a) Going back to early mornings, homework and extracurricular activities can be quite overwhelming for some. b) Worries about fitting in and/or making friends c) Conflict with peers or fellow students, d) Insecurities about their physical appearance e) Unpleasant interactions with school personnel, e.g. teacher, coach etc. f) Bad memories of their past experiences in school may make one think that the current year will be the same g) Much younger learners may feel uneasy about being away from their parents and caretakers. This is very common amongst kindergarten and lower primary school pupils h) Fear of academic failure and/or not meeting the expectations of their parents or teachers can be quite anxiety provoking. With that said, it is important that learners are provided with the necessary support to ensure adequate adaptation to a school environment. Tips to help ease back to school anxiety a) Parents are encouraged to check their own temperatures first. The idea of having to reinstate routines, assist with homework, manage after school activities just to mention a few can be daunting for parents. Since children take cues from their parents, it can be quite easy for the parent to transfer their own anxious feelings on the child. Remain calm and model calm behavior for your child. b) Prepare early. Get bedtimes and wake up times back to normal a week or two before school starts. c) Create a routine for getting up, getting dressed, having breakfast and leaving for school. Establish a consistent daily schedule ahead of time. d) Take heed to the child’s concerns. Concerns may range from complaints about homework or a fight with a friend. Try not to be dismissive and listen attentively. Acknowledge the child’s feelings and where possible give comfort, assurance and assistance on how to sufficiently address the difficulties raised. e) Take a trip to the school before school opens. This is especially helpful if it’s a new school. You and the child may take a tour of the school premises to help the child familiarize themselves with the environment ahead of time. For kindergarten pupils you may also practice with them ‘sitting in class’ and ‘getting out of the car at the drop off point.’ The school trip may be conducted repeatedly as exposure and repetition may ease their anxiety. f) Allow for the use of small comfort items, e.g. a photo or favorite toy can help sooth a child in distress. g) Plan a hand-off on the first morning if you anticipate that your child will probably refuse or be hesitant to separate from you, then. A friend or school personnel could get ready to meet your child and distract them by giving them something to do immediately. If the hand-off is successful, be sure to offer positive reinforcement later. You may say, “you did exceptionally well by heading straight to class this morning.” h) Practice relaxation techniques to help your child manage anxious feelings. Teach them deep breathing exercises, mindfulness etc. i) Set realistic expectations. Let your child know that what matters is for them to exert effort in all they do. Avoid emphasizing outcomes. j) Stay positive. Talk with your children about the things that make school fun. For example, making new friends and attending extracurricular activities. Feel free to share some of your own pleasant experiences of the time you were in school Although children are different, ideally a child should be able to adjust to a school environment after some time. However, if considerable amount of time has elapsed and the child still presents with debilitating anxiety, sad mood, refusal to attend school, frequent physical symptoms such as stomach aches, headaches etc., link the child to care. Start with teachers and the School Psychologist so as to offer the child the necessary support. Early intervention can have a significant impact in your child’s wellbeing and overall school success!