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COMMUNICATION: HOW TO TALK WITH TODDLERS
May 19, 2021
- Take the conversation to your child’s level. Conversations can sometimes be above the younger children’s level of understanding; therefore, it is important to bring the conversation in line with a level they would understand.
- The way we talk to our kids has a significant impact on their learning and ability to listen to us. We are continually modelling to our children how to act and behave, and the way we talk to them fits right into this category. The way we speak to them and others is showing them how we want them to respond to us and others.
- Make conversation a priority with your children. This is especially important when there is more than one child in the house. Using language and vocabulary that is age appropriate is really important to mould a rich language environment for your child. It will also build confidence, self-esteem and good relationships.
- Tune in and listen to what the child says. It is important to be attentive and show your child that you are interested in what they are saying. This also model good behaviour and manners you would like to teach your child for future reference.
- Take turns talking. Showcase a conversation and respond age appropriately to what is said. Don’t interrupt. Don’t scold your kids when they are telling you a story. They will lose interest in sharing their feelings with you in future if you shift away from their story. Rather use this opportunity to engage with your child and use the content as a teaching moment. Remember the exchange are not only about words but about feelings, about paying attention to that little person’s story.
- Talk about what the child is doing, what the child is looking at, or what the child is interested in. Ask open-ended questions to develop curiosity. Adding words or questions to what the child says will model new language and enrich your child’s vocabulary.
- Ask questions that relate to the child’s experiences or interests. This will help develop critical thinking skills and give the child a moment to think about different scenarios and how to approach or react to it.
- Give the child enough time to respond. For children who do not have language yet or is shy in nature, this may be a nonverbal response, like a gesture or a look. Allow your child to find his/her voice.
- Some children find speaking and listening harder than others. They might find it hard to understand what words and sentences mean. Some struggle to find the right words and sounds to use and put them in order. So, be considerate and patient. You can use your child's imagination to your advantage by making a game out of telling funny stories or jokes. Ask them to tell you a joke or teach you about their favourite toy, which will require them to put their thoughts into words. But even if your child experiences some language delays, this doesn’t always indicate a serious problem. If you worried because they are not speaking, see an expert.
- During difficult times, it is always harder to remember to acknowledge your child, but if a child can hear anything during a temper tantrum, it reassures them to hear our recognition of their point-of-view. Most parents talk too much or use unclear language when they discipline a small child. Too many words and vague complaints only confuse and overwhelm them, so be prepared when speaking to your little one.
- Reading to your child as much as possible every day is one of the best things you can do to encourage language development, imagination development and creativity.
Going back to school can evoke feelings of joy for some but not others. One child may be filled with feelings of excitement as they anticipate having to see their friends once again at school, whilst another child may be overwhelmed with feelings of anxiety at the thought of starting school. Although it can be quite normal to experience some degree of uneasiness at the idea of returning to school, changing school or commencing kindergarten some children find it hard to overcome these feelings of anxiety. One may wonder why children sometimes experience back to school anxiety. Let us explore a few possible factors: a) Going back to early mornings, homework and extracurricular activities can be quite overwhelming for some. b) Worries about fitting in and/or making friends c) Conflict with peers or fellow students, d) Insecurities about their physical appearance e) Unpleasant interactions with school personnel, e.g. teacher, coach etc. f) Bad memories of their past experiences in school may make one think that the current year will be the same g) Much younger learners may feel uneasy about being away from their parents and caretakers. This is very common amongst kindergarten and lower primary school pupils h) Fear of academic failure and/or not meeting the expectations of their parents or teachers can be quite anxiety provoking. With that said, it is important that learners are provided with the necessary support to ensure adequate adaptation to a school environment. Tips to help ease back to school anxiety a) Parents are encouraged to check their own temperatures first. The idea of having to reinstate routines, assist with homework, manage after school activities just to mention a few can be daunting for parents. Since children take cues from their parents, it can be quite easy for the parent to transfer their own anxious feelings on the child. Remain calm and model calm behavior for your child. b) Prepare early. Get bedtimes and wake up times back to normal a week or two before school starts. c) Create a routine for getting up, getting dressed, having breakfast and leaving for school. Establish a consistent daily schedule ahead of time. d) Take heed to the child’s concerns. Concerns may range from complaints about homework or a fight with a friend. Try not to be dismissive and listen attentively. Acknowledge the child’s feelings and where possible give comfort, assurance and assistance on how to sufficiently address the difficulties raised. e) Take a trip to the school before school opens. This is especially helpful if it’s a new school. You and the child may take a tour of the school premises to help the child familiarize themselves with the environment ahead of time. For kindergarten pupils you may also practice with them ‘sitting in class’ and ‘getting out of the car at the drop off point.’ The school trip may be conducted repeatedly as exposure and repetition may ease their anxiety. f) Allow for the use of small comfort items, e.g. a photo or favorite toy can help sooth a child in distress. g) Plan a hand-off on the first morning if you anticipate that your child will probably refuse or be hesitant to separate from you, then. A friend or school personnel could get ready to meet your child and distract them by giving them something to do immediately. If the hand-off is successful, be sure to offer positive reinforcement later. You may say, “you did exceptionally well by heading straight to class this morning.” h) Practice relaxation techniques to help your child manage anxious feelings. Teach them deep breathing exercises, mindfulness etc. i) Set realistic expectations. Let your child know that what matters is for them to exert effort in all they do. Avoid emphasizing outcomes. j) Stay positive. Talk with your children about the things that make school fun. For example, making new friends and attending extracurricular activities. Feel free to share some of your own pleasant experiences of the time you were in school Although children are different, ideally a child should be able to adjust to a school environment after some time. However, if considerable amount of time has elapsed and the child still presents with debilitating anxiety, sad mood, refusal to attend school, frequent physical symptoms such as stomach aches, headaches etc., link the child to care. Start with teachers and the School Psychologist so as to offer the child the necessary support. Early intervention can have a significant impact in your child’s wellbeing and overall school success!
Mindfulness is a great tool to help heal your mind and body. Read more about how to practice mindfulness here.
STEM education is the integration of Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics. Learn more here.
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